The Lost Episode of BAD CREEPYPASTA

=I'm a huge fan of MichaelLeroi on YouTube, particularly his BAD CREEPYPASTA series. I love the writing. I have every episode downloaded onto my computer as an MP3, WAV, FLAC, and JPEG for security purposes. However, I may stop watching, as I =

= seem to have uncovered an atrocious secret concerning the behind-the-scenes relationship of the readers. I believe, with the utmost conviction, throughout every individual fiber of my being, that I have unearthed a subterfuge so atrociously diabolical that nobody else but I could ever figure it out. =

=It started when I logged into YouTube to check Tobuscus's channel for new videos, as he's my second-favorite YouTuber to MichaelLeroi. Again, he's just such a brilliant writer. Anyhoozle, I saw that MichaelLeroi had uploaded a new video. My heart leapt. I clicked the video, even though it had an odd title. It wasn't BAD CREEPYPASTA or even Super Brit Bros. It was called FEAR ITSELF. I was absolutely bamboozled. I mean, what kind of a name for a MichaelLeroi video is FEAR ITSELF? He makes creepypasta commentaries and Let's Plays, not horror movies. =

=The video starts. It was actually a video this time, not the red curtains of BAD CREEPYPASTA. It was Jacob and his friend, Matt, and they were reading a creepypasta like normal, but they didn't seem to be aware of the fact that they were being recorded. They did the usual intro, saying that Toby couldn't be here today because he's gotten too tall to fit through the doorway. Matt laughed and they continued with the pasta. It was called "Jeff the Killer vs. Squidward's Suicide" when, all of a sudden, there's a loud slamming noise. It appears to be coming from the door. Jacob and Matt look to the door, when Toby busts in.=

="Ah, there you are, Toby," says Jacob. "We're recording-"=

="SHUT YOUR BLEEDING MOUTH, YOU TOSSER," TOBY SAYS.=

=Jacob says, "Oi, who pissed in your Golden Grahams?"=

=Toby then pulls out a treacle tart and throws it right at Jacob, saying, "I'm fucking sick of being your second or third banana!"=

=The treacle tart smacks into Jacob's shoulder (tentacle?), and a grisly crack is heard. Matt reaches for a handful of Pringles. While Jacob lies on the ground, gripping his shoulder (tentacle?) with unbridled agony the likes of which have never been seen on this earth before, Toby pulled a longbow out of his pocket. He drew it and aimed at Matt, but then Matt throws a handful of dust into Toby's face, blinding him. It was the Pringles. Toby grabbed for his face, and then Matt rushed him, tackling him and sitting on his chest, effectively rendering him immobile. =

="Jacob, call 999, or 919, or whatever the fuck we use for emergencies in England," Matt says urgently. Jacob grabs the phone with his good arm (tentacles?) and begins to dial, when a low rumbling is heard. Matt begins to shake, then all of a sudden there's a huge explosion of force from under him, as if he was sitting on an airbag mechanism. He is launched into the air, his head smashing through the ceiling. Toby rises, and punches Matt in the stomach so hard that he pukes toad-in-the-hole all over Jacob's upstairs neighbors, who retaliate by turning their music up even higher. =

=Toby then approaches Jacob, who asks, shaking, "What are you?"=

=Toby raises a knife and starts to talk, when suddenly, Big Ben begins to chime. It's tea time. Toby puts the knife down and he and Jacob pull Matt out of the ceiling and make the tea. Then they sit down on Jacob's couch, and as they eat their tea, I could see grasshoppers in the clotted cream on their scones, and grasshoppers on the crumpets, even grasshoppers in the tea they were drinking. It must be some British thing. Anyway, they finish their tea, and get back into place, Matt sticking his head in the ceiling, and Jacob stands across from Toby holding the knife, who resumes his speech. =

="...I am FEAR ITSELF."=

="Oh God no!" Jacob yells.=

="There is no God," Toby says, raising the knife even higher. "There is only... FLESH!" He swings the blade down, but Jacob moves out of the way and the knife sticks in the pile of teddy bears behind him. Jacob stares at Toby, still unable to believe that one of his best friends could come at him with a knife. Toby turns to Jacob, and smiles.=

="You are a worthy adversary, mate," he says. "I see that I'll need to achieve my final form if I'm to finish this in time for EastEnders."=

="Oh, EastEnders is on today? Yes, let's hurry," Jacob says.=

=Toby begins to twirl as Jacob watches in horror. Toby twirls faster and faster, until bits of flesh start to fly off of his body, some of it hitting the webcam and obscuring the lens. After about 22 seconds, something stood there that was once Toby, but no now. It appeared to be a large monolith. Orange with golden markings. I heard a faint crinkling sound, and saw two eyes open on the monolith. I heard it once again, and a mouth opened, revealing two large fangs behind lips as red as blood. Then, from the back of the structure unfolded two great leathery wings, and Jacob just looked at the beast, mouth agape. It speaks. =

="Somebody, somewhere, is ABOUT TO DIE!"=

=It then attacks Jacob, killing him in the most unspeakable ways, with lasers, before killing Matt just as unspeakably. When it is done killing, it floats over to the webcam, which had recorded all of this. Then it clears its throat and speaks again.=

="Hello there, and welcome to an extra-bloody edition of BAD CREEPYPASTA. Today I'm here with the usual wankers, Matt and Toby."=

=It sounds just like Jacob. I can't believe it. It then goes on to do a perfect impression of Matt, even replicating the shittiness of his mic. Then it goes on to do a perfect Toby, who I guess it has been all along. That's when it hit me. In would be permanent. Jacob and Matt were dead, and this Toby-beast (Tobeast?) had stolen their identities to continue the show, with Toby as the first banana. This is why Jacob has been getting ill or frustrated more often, so Toby can finish the stories as the first banana. It all makes sense if you just think about it.=

=After I realized this, I went to take a piss. When I entered the bathroom, I screamed and pissed all down the front of my My Little Pony pajamas. Sitting on my toilet... staring right at me... was... a... bloody... plush... Toffee Crisp... with its eyes missing. =